Blog Attempt Number 5

Hopeful

Traci — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 15:59:16 +0000

Yesterday, I decided that 2011 is going to be a year of positive thinking. I’m not going to be overcome with the thought that things are not going to work out. Today, I woke up hopeful that 2011 will be a year when the things that I want will finally happen.

Scattered Thoughts #I don’t know

Traci — Mon, 31 May 2010 16:31:25 +0000

(1) Has it really been about 7 months since I last blogged? I guess the winter months were pretty blahh. The short days, cold weather, and SNOW (!!) just zap everything out of me.

(2) I realize that God has answered almost all of my prayers up until this point in my life. I’m going to continue to trust in Him. The one thing I really want in life is a family. I’m sure that prayer will be answered as well just on His terms and when He decides.

(3) I’m really considering relocating again. I lost sight but I’m back on track. It gives me something to look forward to. I think I will have many more opportunities once my internship is completed next year! I can’t wait.

Someone has me considering relocating to a certain place. I really don’t want to live there. And I probably won’t move there. In that past I’ve considered moving somewhere because of people and thank God I did not!

(4) I’ve decided that my outlook on life needs to change immediately. From now on, the glass is half full! I’m going to make a conscious effort to change!

Scattered Thoughts

Traci — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:06:41 +0000

(1) So I got into it again. She really knows how to push my buttons. And of course, my reaction is the same. So I guess we’ll go another 2 months without speaking. Fuck it, though. I don’t ask to be yelled at and insulted. I try to change the subject or get off the phone and she keeps on and on.

(2) I try but I can’t help it. I’m just discontent about life in general. I just give up hope on 2009. I don’t think things will get better at least until 2010.

(3) It’s funny that with one person’s name keeps popping up in my life even though I took steps to remove him from it. I wish he would keep my name out of his mouth.

(4) I realize I try to do so much to help others but I don’t get the same in return.

This Is It and other Scattered Thoughts

Traci — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 14:33:09 +0000

(1) I went to see This Is It yesterday. Originally, I was opposed to seeing it because I didn’t want AEG to make more money from Michael. However, when I read reviews of it online, I changed my mind. And I’m glad I did. The tour would have been amazing. I’m not convinced he was healthy enough to do 50 shows. I think it would have been an awesome one night only HBO special of some sort. Michael’s voice was still amazing and at age 50, he still had incredible dance moves!

(2) Apparently this month is National Novel Writing Month. Maybe, I should begin to gather ideas and finally get that thing started. If I keep putting it off, it will never get done. Maybe that is the calling that I have been missing. Maybe that is part of the reason my life feels so unfulfilled.

(3) I was very disappointed with the first 3 Cavs games this season. However, they looked pretty good against the Bobcats last night. Now that Delonte is back, they seem to be more complete.

Scattered Thoughts

Traci — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 12:43:13 +0000

(1) As much as I can act unaffected, I’m losing a good friend and it hurts. :\

(2) What was once flattering is becoming annoying. I guess I can blame myself for not nipping this thing in the bud from the start.

(3) Yesterday was rough. I realized I made at least 3 mistakes. I’m really stressed out about it. I need to accept that I’m only human. I’m not perfect. Perfection is impossible. I’m sure everyone there has made mistakes. Once something is done, you can’t change it. You can only learn from it and become better at the task. And hopefully not make the same mistake twice. Plus, it was the first week. So maybe they won’t come down too hard on me. I hate when I do something and I know I know better but it was just a temporary brain fart.

I know in the past, I’ve gotten so stressed about things and then the consequences were slim or non-existant. But it still doesn’t stop me from worrying about things.

(4) The NBA season starts on Tuesday. I’m excited for the Cavs. But I’m nervous after watching the Magic yesterday. I don’t think Shaq is going to be the answer.

Scattered Thoughts

Traci — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 22:02:54 +0000

(1) I recently made an R&B cd for my car and I absolutely love it. Two of my favorite songs right now are Musiq’s “So Beautiful” and Maxwell’s “Bad Habits.” I considered getting Maxwell’s cd but I keep hearing it’s not good.

(2) So I didn’t do what I should’ve done. And he’s still so nice. I need to do what I should do so that this doesn’t go any further.

(3) As a Golden Flash for life, I am very proud of Josh Cribbs. He has been the one bright spot on the sorry Brown’s season. Although it says a lot about his abilities. It sucks that they have him returning punts, QBing, defending punt returns, wide receiving, and acting as a running back. They need to renegotiate that man’s contract.

More Than A Game

Traci — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 16:33:28 +0000

Yesterday, I saw LeBron’s movie More Than A Game. It was a good documentary about a great time in his life, his high school years. I would recommend it to any basketball fan. LeBron is one of my favorite players of all time. As the movie reminded me, LeBron is one of us (Northeast Ohioans). We’ve followed him since he was a teenager. It will be a sad day when he leaves the Cavs (which I expect him to do after this season).

Scattered Thoughts

Traci — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 15:07:23 +0000

(1) FML. I’m very discontent about how things have worked. I need to be on my own but it will take some big sacrifices in order to that. Hopefully, the sacrifices will be short lived. I think I’m just going to have to go for it and struggle for a bit just to have my independence. I’m just disappointed to be in this situation. I’ve done everything I could possibly do “right” and have nothing to show for it. I feel like my life is wasting away. I try not to be one of those “FML” people b/c I know things can be much worse. But its hard not to be when you work so hard for something and do not get the results that you deserve.

(2) The traffic to my blog should dwindle to next to nothing now that I’ve deleted my facebook page. Most of my visitors were people who had clicked the link on my page. This time it will more than likely be permanent. I really don’t use it to communicate with anyone any more. The people I was interested in don’t update that often either so I have no use for it.

(3) I’m really annoyed by some information I learned about yesterday. Don’t be nosy or act concerned about me when I reached out to you and you didn’t respond. Don’t send me a link to participate in your activity. I do not want to be bothered.

(4) I am Queen of “Let’s ignore things and act like they never happened.” In this situation, I need to be forth coming because if this keeps going on, things may become very uncomfortable. I hope he understands.

Scattered Thoughts 16

Traci — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 21:59:22 +0000

(1) Me no likey Usher’s new song. I hope the next album is better than Hear I Stand but based on “Papers” I’m not too sure.

(2) I hope he understands. :\

(3) I refuse to bag my own groceries at the grocery store. I’ll wait.

Scattered Thought 15

Traci — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 23:03:51 +0000

Number 4 of my fourteenth Scattered Thought alluded to something that had happened to me on Friday. I was considering what I should do and if I should do things differently. Deliberations are over. As much as I want a certain aspect of my life to change, I have to remember the great opportunity that has been placed in front of me in another aspect of my life. I cannot jeopardize that and I think if I would act on what was alluded to in my previous post, then I just might do that.

It’s funny. I wanted to discuss the issue with friends. I sent one a message and did not receive a response. Another friend was not online and I was too lazy to call. But God sent me a sign through a CNN segment. Now I know what to do. Disaster thwarted! Thank you, God!

I won’t rush it. My situation will change when it is supposed to. As Avril Lavigne so eloquently put it, “Whatever’s meant to be will work out perfectly.” (I live by that quote!)